Setting Cell Phone Limits
May 25, 2011
It seems that cell phones have taken us all by storm. Suddenly, our kids are complaining that they can’t possibly be cool unless they have a cell phone like everyone else! It’s true; roughly 60 percent of American teenagers own a cell phone, according to U.S. Cellular statistics. And eventually, your kid may begin to feel left out if he or she is the “only one” without the means to stay connected to his or her friends (something he or she will frequently point out). I would like to offer some tips and pointers to parents who are on all sides of this issue, so that if you do decide to get your child a cell phone, it can be a positive, teaching experience.
- Discuss your child’s motivations for having a cell phone: Talking about its use for safety rather than as a status symbol could initiate a conversation about his or her life. For example, feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and who they feel they need to be talking to – and when and why.
- Develop a set of rules and responsibilities as a cell phone user: In providing your child with a cell phone, you must set the rules for its use. Make sure he/she knows about the consequences of going over his/her minutes before it happens. Teach your teens to take responsibility for the notes they text. Explain to them that even though they are texting, it is as real as saying it out loud, and potentially more devastating. If they wouldn’t want everyone to know what they are texting, they shouldn’t text it. Sharing information is as simple as forwarding it to others. Likewise, teach your child to be considerate of others and not forward or share information that may damage someone’s reputation.
- Address “Sexting” Sexting is quickly becoming a problem among teens with phones, which has recently been complicated by the use of “face time” applications on cell phones. Make sure you talk to your kids about what to do if someone sends them an inappropriate text or picture, and take the time to explain why these behaviors are not appropriate. They may not be aware that the police can get involved as it can lead to child pornography charges!
- Discuss cell phone etiquette: 82 percent of people report having been annoyed by loud or personal cell phone conversations in public. Don’t let your child be one of these irritants! No texting at dinner or during church. Cell phones aren’t allowed at school, unless the school has its own policy. Ask others around you if they mind if you take a call, especially if you are riding in the car. Be sure to practice what you preach!
- Establish rules around cell phone use at night: Require your children to turn cell phones off at night and keep them in a common area rather than allowing them to take them into their rooms, where they can talk or text message late into the night. One study found that some teen cell phone users are likely to be awakened at night by incoming text messages or calls, and are therefore more likely to be tired and less able to focus throughout the day.
- Teach your kids to only answer calls or view text messages from people they know: Like the internet, cell phones are becoming a vehicle not only for bullying, but also for sexual predators and for scams.
- Help your kids save money: Consider purchasing a pre-paid plan with a limited number of minutes for your teens, and remind them to “budget” their minutes. If your child has difficulty remembering what assignment is due what day, he/she is probably not going to have a sense of where they are at on his/her minute usage. Help your teen by setting up a system that works for him/her. Some cell phone plans allow you to monitor your minutes by pressing a pre-set button on your phone.
